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S       i" 

I  i  SIR 


THE   JINGLE    BOOK 


Jl?e  Jutor 

A  TUTOR  who  tooted  the  flute 

Tried  to  teach  two  young  tooters  to  toot. 
Said  the  two  to  the  tutor, 
"Is  it  harder  to  toot,  or 
To  tutor  two  tooters  to  toot?" 


THE    JINGLE  BOOK 


BY 

CAROLYN   WELLS 


pictured  by 

OLIVER   HERFORD 


Ncfo 
THE    MACMILLAN    COMPANY 

LONDON :  MACMILLAN  &  CO.,  LTD. 

1901 
AU  rights  reserved 


COPYRIGHT,  1899, 
BY  THE  MACMILLAN  COMPANY. 


Set  up  and  electrotyped  October,  1899.       Reprinted  November, 
1899;  June,  1901. 


Co  fiflda's  ChUd 


CONTENTS 

THE  TUTOR Frontispiece 

PAGE 

A  SERIOUS  QUESTION I 

Two  OLD  KINGS 3 

A  DAY  DREAM 5 

OUR  CLUB y 

PUZZLED 9 

AN  INTERCEPTED  VALENTINE n 

A  LONG-FELT  WANT 13 

THE  MUSICAL  CARP 14 

THE  INTELLIGENT  HEN 15 

THE  HAPPY  HYENA 17 

A  GREAT  LADY 18 

OPULENT  OLLIE 20 

THE  Two  BEARS 21 

THE  MACARONI  MAN 24 

THE  4.04  TRAIN 29 

A  VALUABLE  GIFT 30 

THE  GRANDILOQUENT  GOAT 32 

How  THE  CAT  WAS  BELLED -33 

TRIANGULAR  TOMMY 40 

A  MODERN  INVENTION  ....." 45 

Ax  APRIL  JOKE 46 

AN  ALICE  ALPHABET 48 

THE  FUNNY  KITTENS 57 

THE  STRIKE  OF  THE  FIREWORKS  .        .       .       .       .*.".        .60 

THE  ARCH  ARMADILLO 63 

[vii] 


PAGE 

A  DREAM  LESSON 64 

THE  RIVALS           * 68 

THE  NEW  CUP 7° 

A  PHOTOGRAPHIC  FAILURE 71 

CHRISTMAS  GIFTS 73 

YOUNG  AMERICA 74 

A  BICYCLE  BUILT  FOR  Two 75 

DOROTHY'S  OPINION 77 

ROLY  POLY  ROY 79 

MY  BAROMETER 85 

THE  BUTTER  BETTY  BOUGHT 86 

A  MARVEL 87 

AN  ALPHABET  Zoo 88 

FOUND  WANTING 94 

A  TRAGIC  TALE  OF  TEA 96 

THE  ERRATIC  RAT 97 

THE  Two  FRIENDS 99 

THE  SMILING  "SHARK 102 

THE  MERCURY'S  PLAINT 103 

THE  PIRATE  POODLE •  105 

AN  OLD  LOVE -     .  107 

BOBBY'S  POCKET 109 

THE  INSTRUCTIPHONE "2 

THE  LAY  OF  THE  LADY  LORRAINE 115 


BooK 


Questioi? 


A  KJIILX  went  a-  walking 

One  morning  in  July, 
And  idly  fell  a-talking 

Witb  a  great  big  butterfly. 

The  kitten's  tone  was  airy, 
The  butterfly  would  scoff; 

When  there  came  along  a  fairy 
Who  whisked  his  wings  right 
off. 


And  then  —  for  it  is 

Fairies  can  do  such  things  — 
Upon  the  startled  kitten 

She  stuck  the  yellow  wings. 


With 


The  kitten  felt  a 

quiver, 
She  rose  into 

the  air, 

Then  flew  down 
to  the  river 
To    view    her 
image  there. 

fear  her  heart  was 


And  she  began  to  cry, 
Am  I  a  butter-kitten? 
Or  just  a  kitten-fly?" 


[•] 


5u/o  Old 


OH  !   the  King  of  Kanoodledum 
And  the  King  of  Kanoodledee, 

They  went  to  sea 

In  a  jigamaree  — 
A  full-rigged  jigamaree. 


And  one  king  couldn't  steer, 
And  the  other,  no  more  could  he ; 
So  they  both  upset 
And  they  both  got  wet, 
As  wet  as  wet  could  be. 


And  one  king  couldn't  swim 
And  the  other,  he  couldn't,  too; 

So  they  had  to  float, 

While  their  empty  boat 
Danced  away  o'er  the  sea  so  blue. 
[3] 


Then  the  King  of  Kanoodledum 
He  turned  a  trifle  pale, 

And  so  did  he 

Of  Kanoodledee, 
But  they  saw  a  passing  sail ! 

And  one  king  screamed  like  fun 

And  the  other  king  screeched  like  mad, 

And  a  boat  was  lowered 

And  took  them  aboard ; 
And,  my!   but  those  kings  were  glad! 


[4] 


f\  Day  Dr^am 

POLLY'S  patchwork  —  oh,  dear  me!  — 
Truly  is  a  sight  to  see. 
Rumpled,  crumpled,  soiled,  and  frayed 
Will  the  quilt  be  ever  made? 
See  the  stitches  yawning  wide  — 
Can  it  be  that  Polly  tried  f 
[5] 


Some  are  right  and  some  are  wrong, 
Some  too  short  and  some  too  long, 
Some  too  loose  and  some  too  tight ; 
Grimy  smudges  on  the  white, 
And  a  tiny  spot  of  red, 
Where  poor  Polly's  finger  bled. 
Strange  such  pretty,  dainty  blocks  — 
Bits  of  Polly's  summer  frocks  — 
Should  have  proved  so  hard  to  sew, 
And  the  cause  of  so  much  woe ! 

One  day  it  was  very  hot, 
And  the  thread  got  in  a  knot, 
Drew  the  seam  up  in  a  heap  — 
Polly  calmly  fell  asleep. 
Then  she  had  a  lovely  dream ; 
Straight  and  even  was  the  seam, 
Pure  and  spotless  was  the  white ; 
All  the  blocks  were  finished  quite — • 
Each  joined  to  another  one. 
Lo,  behold!   the  quilt  was  done, — 
Lined  and  quilted,  —  and  it  seemed 
To  cover  Polly  as  she  dreamed ! 


[6] 

it 


Our  Qub 

WE'RE  going  to  have  the  mostest  fun! 

It's  going  to  be  a  club; 
And  no  one  can  belong  to  it 

But  Dot  and  me  and  Bub. 


We  thought  we'd  have  a  Reading  Club, 
But  couldn't  'cause,  you  see, 

Not  one  of  us  knows  how  to  read  — 
Not  Dot  nor  Bub  nor  me. 
[7] 


And  then  we  said  a  Sewing  Club, 
But  thought  we'd  better  not; 

'Cause  none  of  us  knows  how  to  sew 
Not  me  nor  Bub  nor  Dot. 

And  so  it's  just  a  Playing  Club, 
We  play  till  time  for  tea; 

And,  oh,  we  have  the  bestest  times ! 
Tust  Dot  and  Bub  and  me. 


[8] 


puzzled 


THERE   lived  in  ancient  Scribbktown  a  wise  old  writer- 

~~_ '-.  T. 

Whose  name  was  Homer  Cicero  Demosthenes  McCann. 


He'd  written  treatises  and  themes  tin,  "  For  a  change," 

he  said, 
"I   think   ril  write  a  children's   book  before   I  go  to 

bed." 

[9] 


He   pulled    down  all    his    musty    tomes   in  Latin  and  in 

Greek ; 

Consulted  cyclopaedias  and  manuscripts  antique, 
Essays  in  Anthropology,  studies  in  counterpoise  — 
"For   these,"  he    said,  "are    useful    lore    for   little  girls 

and  boys." 

He    scribbled    hard,  and    scribbled    fast,  he   burned    the 

midnight  oil, 
And   when    he    reached  "The    End"    he   felt   rewarded 

for  his  toil; 
He  said,  "  This  charming  Children's  Book   is  greatly  to 

my  credit." 
And   now   he's   sorely   puzzled   that   no   child   has   ever 

read  it. 


[10] 


fti)  Igtereepted  l/alei)tige 

LITTLE  Bo-Peep,  will  you  be  mine? 

I  want  you  for  my  Valentine. 

You  are  my  choice  of  all  the  girls, 

With  your  blushing  cheeks  and  your  fluttering  curls, 

With  your  ribbons  gay  and  your  kittle  neat, 

None  other  is  so  fair  and  sweet. 


Little  Bo-Peep,  let's  run  away, 

And  marry  each  other  on  Midsummer  Day ; 

And  ever  to  you  I'll  be  fond  and  true, 

Your  faithful  Valentine, 

LITTLE  BOY  BLUE. 


U/apt 


NE  day  wee  Willie  and  his  dog 

Sprawled  on  the  nursery  floor. 
He  had  a  florist's  catalogue, 
And  turned  the  pages  o'er, 

Till  all  at  once  he  gave  a  spring, 
"  Hurrah  !  "  he  cried  with  joy ; 

"  Mamma,  here's  just  the  very  thing 
To  give  your  little  boy! 

"For  when  we  fellows  go  to  school, 
We  lose  our  things,  you  know; 

And  hi  that  little  vestibule 
They  do  get  mixed  up  so. 

"And  as  you  often  say  you 

can't 
Take  care  of  'em  for 

me, 

0  Why  don't  you  buy 
a    rubber  plant, 
And  an  um- 
brella tree?" 


[•3] 


/T^usieal   <§arp 


THERE  once  was  a  corpulent  carp 
Who  wanted  to  play  on  a  harp, 

But  to  his  chagrin 

So  short  was  his  fin 
That  he  couldn't  reach  up  to  C  sharp. 


[14] 


5l?e 


ftei? 


'TWAS  long  ago,  —  a  year  or  so, 

In  a  barnyard  by  the  sea, 
That   an    old   hen   lived   whom 

you  may  know 
By  the  name   of 

Fiddle-de-dee. 
She  scratched  around  in 

the  sand  all  day, 
For   a  lively  old   hen 
was  she. 

And  then  do  you  know,  it  happened  this  way 

In  that  barnyard  by  the  sea ; 
A  great  wise  owl  came  down  one  day, 

And  hooted  at  Fiddle-de-dee, 

Just  hooted  at  Fiddle-de-dee. 
And  he  cried,  "Hi!  Hi!  old  hen,  I  say! 

You're  provincial,  it  seems  to  me ! " 

"  Why,  what  do  you  mean  ? "  cried  the  old  red  hen, 

As  mad  as  hops  was  she. 
"Oh,  I've  been  'round  among  great  men, 

In  the  world  where  the  great  men  be. 
And  none  of  them  scratch  with  their  claws  like  you, 

They  write  with  a  quill  like  me." 
['5] 


Now  very  few  people  could  get  ahead 
Of  that  old  hen,  Fiddle-de-dee. 

She  went  and  hunted  the  posy-bed, 
And  returned  in  triumphant  glee. 

And  ever  since  then,  that  little  red  hen, 

She  writes  with  a  jonquil  pen,  quil  pen, 
She  writes  with  a  jonquil  pen. 


[16] 


THERE  once  was  a  happy  Hyena 
Who  played  on  an  old  concertina- 
He  dressed  very  well, 
And  in  his  lapel 
He  carelessly  stuck  a  verbena. 
C'll. 


f\   (Jreat  (ady 


THIS  is  the  Queen  of  Nonsense  Land, 

She  wears  her  bonnet  on  her  hand; 

She  carpets  her  ceilings  and  frescos  her  floors, 

She  eats  on  her  windows  and  sleeps  on  her  doors. 

Oh,  ho !  Oh,  ho !  to  think  there  could  be 

A  lady  so  silly-down-dilly  as  she ! 

She  goes  for  a  walk  on  an  ocean  wave, 
She  fishes  for  cats  in  a  coral  cave; 

[18] 


She  drinks  from  an  empty  glass  of  milk, 
And  lines  her  potato  trees  with  silk. 
I'm  sure  that  fornever  and  never  was  seen 
So  foolish  a  thing  as  the  Nonsense  Queen ! 

She  ordered  a  wig  for  a  blue  bottle  fly, 

And  she  wrote  a  note  to  a  pumpkin  pie; 

She  makes  all  the  oysters  wear  emerald  rings, 

And  does  dozens  of  other  nonsensible  things. 

Oh !  the  scatterbrained,  shatterbrained  lady  so  grand, 

Her  Royal  Skyhighness  of  Nonsense  Land! 


C'9] 


Opulept 


ONE  Saturday  opulent  Ollie 

Thought  he'd  go  for  a  ride  on  the  trolley; 

But  his  pennies  were  few,  — 

He  only  had  two,  — 
So  he  went  and  made  mud-pies  with  Polly. 


[20] 


Stye  5u/o  Bears 

PRINCE  CURLILOCKS  remarked  one  day 

To  Princess  Dimplecheek, 
"I  haven't  had  a  real  good  play 

For  more  than  'most  a  week." 

Said  Princess  Dimplecheek,  "My  dear, 

Your  majesty  forgets  — 
This  morning  we  played  grenadier 

With  grandpa's  epaulets. 

"And  yesterday  we  sailed  to  Spain  — 

We  both  were  pirates  bold, 
And  braved  the  wild  and  raging  main 

To  seek  for  hidden  gold." 

"True,"  said  the  prince;  "I  mind  me  well 

Right  hardily  we  fought, 
And  stormed  a  massive  citadel 

To  gain  the  prize  we  sought. 

"But  if  your  ladyship  agrees, 

Methinks  we'll  go  upstairs 
And  build  a  waste  of  arctic  seas, 

And  we'll  be  polar  bears." 
[ft] 


"Yes,  if  you'll  promise  not  to  bite," 

Fair  Dimplecheek  replied, 
Already  half-way  up  the  flight, 

His  highness  by  her  side. 

"  Princess,  on  that  far  window-seat, 

Go,  sit  thee  down  and  wait, 
While  I  ask  nursie  for  a  sheet, 

Or  maybe  six  or  eight." 

A  pile  of  sheets  his  highness  brought. 

"  Dear  princess,  pray  take  these ; 
Although  our  path  with  danger's  fraught, 

We'll  reach  the  polar  seas." 

Two  furry  rugs  his  lordship  bore, 

Two  pairs  of  mittens  white ; 
He  threw  them  on  the  nursery  floor 

And  shouted  with  delight. 

He  spread  those  sheets  —  the  funny  boy- 

O'er  table,  floor,  and  chair. 
"  Princess,"  said  he,  "  don't  you  enjoy 

This  frosty,  bracing  air  ? 

"These  snowy  sheets  are  fields  of  ice, 

This  is  an  iceberg  grim." 
"Yes,  dear,  I  think  it's  very  nice," 

She  said,  and  smiled  at  him. 
[22] 


And  then  they  donned  the  rugs  of  fur, 
The  mittens,  too,  they  wore; 

And  Corlflocks  remarked  to  her, 
"Now  you  must  roar  and  roar." 


Dimplecheek  looked  out  from  the  cowl 

Formed  hy  her  furry  rug. 
Tm  "fraid  of  bears  that  only  growl — 

I  like  the  kind  that  hug." 
03] 


Jl?e  l/ery  /T)erry  Uoya<^  of 
/T)aearopi 


THIS  figure  here  before  you  is  a  Macaroni  Man, 

Who  is  built,  as  you  may  notice,  on  a  most  ingenious 

plan. 
His    skeleton,    I    beg    to    state,    is    made    of    hairpins 

three, 
Which  are  bent  and  curved  and  twisted  to  a  marvellous 

degree. 
His  coat-sleeves  and  his  trouser-legs,  his  head  and  eke 

his  waist 

Are  made  of  superfine  imported  macaroni  paste. 
And   if  you  care  to  listen,  you   may  hear  the  thrilling 

tale 

Of  the  merry  Macaroni  Man's  extraordinary  sail. 
One  sunny  day  he  started  for  a  voyage  in  his  yacht, 
His   anxious    mother    called   to    him,    and    said,    "  You'd 

better  not! 
Although  the  sun  is  shining  bright,  I   fear  that  it  may 

rain; 
And  don't  you  think,  my  darling  boy,  you'd  better  take 

the  train?" 

04  ] 


"Oh,  no,"  said  he,  "no  clouds  I  see,  —  the  sky  is  blue 

and  clear, 
I    wfll    return    in    time   for   tea  —  good-by,    my    mother 

dear." 


Full  merrily  he  started  off,  the  day  was  fine  and  fair, 
And  to  his  great  delight  he  found  no  dampness  in  the 

air. 

You  know  if  he  gets  wet,  a  Macaroni  Man  is  spoiled, 
And  if  he  stands  too  near  the  steam,  of  course  he  may 

get  boiled. 
But   our    hero  used  precautions,  —  carefully  he  shunned 

the  spray, — 
And  when  the   steam  blew  toward  him,  he  just  steered 

the  other  way. 
Now,  as  the   breeze  was  from   the  land,  his   course  lay 

out  to  sea; 
He  sailed  so  far  that  he  felt  sure  he  would  be  late  for 

tea. 

[«$3 


He    sailed,     and    sailed,    and    sailed,    and    sailed,  —  he 

feared  the  dew  would  fall  — 
He  tried  to  turn,  —  but  oh,  that  steam!  it  would  not  do 

at  all! 


A   single   puff  blew   toward   him,  and   it  nearly  cooked 

his  face ! 

The  mournful  Macaroni  Man  felt  sadly  out  of  place. 
But   a   happy  thought  occurred  to  him,  "Ha,  ha,  —  ho, 

ho !  "  said  he,  — 
"I'll  just  sail  on  around  the  world, — and  then,  it  seems 

to  me, 

I'll  reach  my  home  (according  to  a  careful  estimate) 
In    time    for    tea,    although    I'll    be    perhaps    a    trifle 

late." 

[26] 


Then  merrily  his   gallant   ship    sped   o'er  the  bounding 

main, 
Quickly  he  crossed  the  ocean  wide,  he  flew  by  France 

and  Spain ; 

Covered  the  Mediterranean,  spanned  the  Suez  Canal,  — 
"I'll   reach   my  home  to-night,"  he   thought,   "oh,   yes, 

I'm  sure  I  shall." 
He    skimmed    the    Red    Sea    like    a  bird,  — the   Indian 

Ocean  crossed 


(But  once,  hi  Oceanica,  he  feared  that  he  was  lost). 

He  passed  Australia  on  the  fly,  —  cut  over  Capri- 
corn, 

And  as  the  sunset  gun  he  heard,  he  swung  around  Cape 
Horn. 


Still   at   full   speed,    he    sailed    due    north,    he    rounded 

Cape  St.  Roque, 
Crossed   the   equator,    and   found    out   the    Gulf   Stream 

was  no  joke. 
He  coasted  by  the  seaboard  States.     Hurrah !  all  danger 

past, 
Quickly  he  sailed  the   last  few   miles   and   reached   his 

home  at  last ; 
His   mother  welcomed   him,  and   said,   "  I'm   glad   there 

was  no  shower ; 
But  hurry  in,  my  bonny  boy,  I've  waited  tea  an  hour." 


[28] 


<5f?e  4.04  Srair? 


"THERE'S  a  train  at  4.04,"  said  Miss  Jenny; 
"Four  tickets  I'll  take.     Have  you  any?" 

Said  the  man  at  the  door: 

"Not  four  for  4.04, 
For  four  for  4.04  is  too  many." 


f\  l/aluable  (Jift 


OLD  Father  Time,  one  day 
In  his  study,  so  they  say, 

Was  indulging  in  a  surreptitious  nap, 
When  from  his  drowsy  dreams 
He  was  wakened,  as  it  seems, 

By  a  timid  but  persistent  little  rap. 

He  yawned  and  rubbed  his  eyes 
In  indolent  surprise, 

Then  slowly  he  arose  from  where  he  sat ; 
He  opened  wide  his  door, 
And  nearly  tumbled  o'er 

The  figure  that  stood  waiting  on  the  mat. 
[30] 


A  tiny  litfle  dog, 

With  excitement  all  agog, 

And  angry  eyes  that  seemed  to  flash  and  glower. 
His  manner  was  polite, 
But  he  said,  "  I  claim  my  right! 

And  I've  called,  sir,  to  demand  of  you  my  hoar. 

"Your  what?"  the  old  man  said, 
As  he  shook  his  puzzled  head; 

And  the  pertinacious  puppy  spoke  with  force: 
"Well,  sir,  they  often  say, 
'Ever}*  dog  must  have  his  day/ 

So  a  puppy  ought  to  have  an  hour,  of  course!" 

The  old  man  shook  with  glee, 
But  he  said  obligingly, 

"The  dog  days  are  all  gone,  I  grieve  to  say; 
But     since     you've 

come  so  far, 
And    so     mannerly 

you  are, 
111     give 

yon  just  an 

hour  —  to 

getaway. 


A  VERY  grandiloquent  Goat 
Sat  down  to  a  gay  table  d'hote; 

He  ate  all  the  corks, 

The  knives  and  the  forks, 
Remarking :  "  On  these  things  I  dote. 

Then,  before  his  repast  he  began, 
While  pausing  the  menu  to  scan, 

He  said :  "  Corn,  if  you  please, 

And  tomatoes  and  pease, 
I'd  like  to  have  served  in  the  can." 
[32] 


\\o\u 


<Sat  u/as 


A  FABLE  told  by  La  Fontaine, 

Two  centuries  or  more  ago, 
Describes  some  rats  who  would  arraign 

A  cat,  their  direst  foe, 
Who  killed  so  many  rats 

And  caused  the  deepest  woe, 
This  Catiline  of  cats. 

The  poor  rats  were  at  their  wits'  end 
Their  homes  and  families  to  defend; 

And  as  a  last  resort 

They  took  the  case  to  court- 

It  seems  they  called  a  caucus  wise 
Of  rats  of  every  age  and  size, 

And  then  their  dean, 

With  sapient  mien, 
A  very  Solon  of  a  rat, 
Said  it  was  best  to  bell  the  cat. 

The  quaint  old  tale  goes  on  to  tell 
How  this  plan  woukl  have  worked  quite  well, 
[33] 


But,  somehow,  flaws 
Appeared,  because 
No  one  would  hang  the  bell. 

Though  there  the  ancient  fable  ends, 
Later  report  the  tale  extends, 
No  longer  is  the  truth  withheld; 
Developments  appear, 
And  so  you  have  it  here. 
For  the  first  time 
Set  down  in  rhyme 
Just  how  that  cat  was  belled. 

The  council,  as  'twas  getting  late, 
Was  just  about  to  separate, 
When  suddenly  a  rat  arose 
Who  said  he  could  a  plan  propose 
Which  would,  he  thought,  succeed 
And  meet  their  urgent  need. 

Now  as  this  rat  was  very  small, 
And  had  no  dignity  at  all, 

Although  his  plan  was  well  advised, 
We  really  need  not  be  surprised 
That  all  the  rats  of  riper  years 
Expressed  the  gravest  doubts  and  fears 
Till  suddenly 
He  said,  said  he, 
"  If  you  will  leave  it  all  to  me, 
[34] 


I  will  avow 
Three  days  from  now 
That  you  shall  all  be  free." 
The  solemn  council  then  adjourned. 
Each  rat  to  home  and  fireside  turned; 
But  each  shook  his  wise  head 
And  to  his  neighbor  said : 
"  It  is  a  dangerous  job,  in  truth, 
Though  it  seems  naught  to  headstrong  youth.1 

Now  young  Sir  Rat  we  next  behold, 
With  manner  brave  and  visage  bold, 

Go  marching  down 

To  London  town, 
Where  wondrous  things  are  sold. 

We  see  him  stop 

At  a  large  shop, 

And  with  the  bland  clerk's  courteous  aid 
This  was  the  purchase  that  he  made: 
A  bicycle  of  finest  make, 
With  modern  gear  and  patent  brake, 
Pedometer,  pneumatic  tire, 
And  spokes  that  looked  like  silver  wire, 

A  lantern  bright 

To  shine  at  night, 
Enamel  finish,  nickel  plate, 
And  all  improvements  up  to  date. 
Said  sly  Sir  Rat:  "It  suits  me  well, 
Especially  that  sweet-toned  bell" 
[35] 


The  shades  of  night  were  falling  fast 
When  Sir  Rat  turned  toward  home  at  last. 
The  neighbors  watched  him  as  he  passed 
And  said:  "What  is  that  queer-shaped  thing? 


Surely  that  can't  be  made  to  ring." 
Sir  Rat  went  on,  nor  stayed 
To  hear  the  jests  they  made; 
And  just  outside  the  old  cat's  gate 
He  stopped  and  boldly  braved  his  fate, 
[36] 


For  if  that  cat 

Should  smell  a  rat 

How  quickly  he'd  come  out  and  catch  him, 
And  with  what  gusto  he'd  despatch  him! 
Sir  Rat,  against  the  picket-fence 
Leaned  the  machine,  then  hurried  hence, 

And  hid  himself  with  glee, 

And  waited  breathlessly 
To  see  what  that 
Cantankerous  cat 

Would  say,  when  in  the  twilight  dim 
He  saw  that  brightly  shining  rim. 

Sir  Rat,  though  hidden  quite, 

And  safely  out  of  sight, 
Had  scarcely  time  to  wink  his  eye, 
When  Mr.  Cat  came  sauntering  by. 

"Ha!     Ha!"  said  he, 

"What's  this  I  see, 
A  bicycle!  and  just  my  size! 
Well,  this,  indeed,  is  a  surprise! 

I'll  confiscate 

This  treasure  great ; 
How  quickly  I'll  fly  o'er  the  ground 
When  I  pursue  my  hunting  round!" 

He  mounted  it  with  eager  haste, 
It  suited  well  his  sporting  taste; 
[37] 


He  guided  it  at  will, 

And  used  the  brake  with  skill, 
He  grasped  the  handle-bars,  and  then 
You  see  it  was  his  custom  when 


He  did  a  thing,  to  do  it  well  — 

Of  course  he  used  the  clear-toned  bell! 

Victory  now!  the  deed  is  done! 
No  longer  at  the  set  of  sun 
[38] 


The  rats  fly  shrieking  to  their  nests, 
They  saunter  round  with  merry  jests 
And  ne'er  a  thought  of  fear, 
Knowing  full  well 
They'll  hear  the  hell 
When  Mr.  Cat  draws  near. 


And  young  Sir  Rat  who  did  the  deed, 
Whose  cleverness  relieved  their  need, 
His  wondrous  enterprise 
Was  lauded  to  the  skies. 
And  everywhere  his  name 
Was  hailed  with  shouts  of  fame. 

In  difficulties,  oft  we  see 
Modern  improvements  frequently 
Will  prove  a  happy  remedy. 


[39] 


of  Sriai^ular  Sommy 


^^     TRIANGULAR  TOMMY,  one  morning  in  May, 
^B     Went  out  for  a  walk  on  the  public  highway. 
fi|9  Just  here  I  will  say, 

^SL  'Twas  a  bright  sunny  day, 

"^r1  And   the   sky  it  was   blue,   and  the  grass  it 

was  green, 

The  same  sky  and  grass  that  you've  all  of  you  seen; 
And  the  birds  in  the  trees  sang  their  usual  song, 
And  Triangular  Tommy  went  trudging  along. 

But  I  can  tell  you 

He  cared  naught  for  the  view. 
He  did  just  what  small  boys  of  his  age  always  do: 

He  shouted  out  "  Scat  !  " 

At  a  wandering  cat, 
And  he  picked  a  big  daisy  to  stick  in  his  hat  ; 

The  clovers  he  topped, 

And  the  toadstools  he  cropped, 
And  sometimes  he  scuffled  and  sometimes  he  hopped. 

He  took  an  old  stick  and  poked  at  a  worm, 
And  merrily  chuckled  to  see  the  thing  squirm; 
[40] 


When    he   chanced   to   look    up, 

and  in  gorgeous  array 
Triangular  Tilly  was  coming  his 

way. 
Triangular  Tom   straightened  up 

in  a  jiff, 
And    put    on   his    best   manner — fw^ntd- 

'    ingry  stiff; 
And  as  far  as  his  angular  shape  would 

allow 
Triangular   Tom    made   a   beautiful   bow. 

Triangular  Tffly  went  smilingly  by, 

/With  a  glance  that  was  friendly,  but  just  a  bit 
shy. 
And  Tom  so  admired  her  that  after  she  passed, 
A  backward  look  over  his  shoulder  he  cast. 
And  he  said,  "Though  I  think  many,  girls  are 
but  silly, 
I  really  admire  that  Triangular  Tilly." 

But  soon  all  such  thoughts  were  put  out  of  his  head, 
For  who  should  come  by  but  Triangular  Ted, 
The  very  boy  Tom  had  been  wishing  to  see! 
"Hello!"  said  Triangular  Tommy,  said  he. 
"Hello!"  said  Triangular  Ted,  and  away 
Those  two  children  scooted  to  frolic  and  play. 

And  they  had,  on  the  green, 

Where  'twas  all  dry  and  clean, 
The  best  game  of  leap-frog  that  ever  was  seen. 


Triangular  Tom  beat  down  this  way,  you  know, 

^    And  Triangular  Ted  stood  be- 
^^^^^^  k  side  him,  just  so, 

^P^^^^k          ^fli  When  one,   two,  three 

A&  -go! 

BB          jl  With      the       greatest 

^  gusto, 

Ted  flew  over  Tom  in  a  manner  not  slow. 

They  played  hide-and-seek,  they  played  marbles  and  tag, 
They  played  they  were  soldiers, 
and  each  waved  a  flag ; 

Till  at  last  they  confessed, 
They  wanted  to  rest ; 
So    they    sat    down    and    chatted 
with  laughter  and  jest; 

When  Schoolmaster  Jones  they  suddenly  spied, 

Come  clumping  along  with  his  pedagogue  stride, 
ML         As  usual,  with  manner  quite  preoccupied ; 
^^S  With  his  hat  on  one  side, 

And  his  shoe-lace  untied  — 
A  surly  old  fellow,  it  can't  be  denied; 
Jf  And  each  wicked  boy 

Thought  that  he  would  enjoy 
An  occasion  the  thoughtful  old  man  to  annoy, 
And  all  of  his  wise  calculations  destroy. 
So  they  thought  they'd  employ 
A  means  known  to  each  boy. 
[42] 


And  across  the  wide  pavement  they  fastened  a  twine 
Exceedingly  strong  but  exceedingly  fine ; 
And  Triangular  Tommy  laughed  out  in  his  glee, 
i  To  think  how  upset  the  old  master  would  be ! 

i  Although  very  wicked,  their  mischievous  scheme 
Was  a  perfect  success;  and  with  a  loud  scream, 
A  horrible  clash, 
A  thump  and  a  smash, 
Old    Schoolmaster    Jones    came    down 

with  a  crash. 
His  hat  rolled  away,  and  his  spectacles 

broke, 
And  those   dreadful  boys   thought    it    a    howling    good 

joke. 
And  they  just  doubled  up  in  immoderate  glee, 

—    Saying,  "  Look  at  the  Schoolmaster !     •• 
^^P  Tee-hee!  tee-hee!"  ^^^ 

^£  Tom  gave  a  guffaw,  ^R 

^^fc  And   Ted   roared   a   "haw- 

*^  haw";  MM 

But  soon  their  diversion  was  turned  into  awe, 

For   old   Schoolmaster  Jones  was  angry,  they 
&  saw. 

IS  Triangular  Ted 

^^P^  Turned  swiftly  and  fled, 

4^  And  far  down  the  street  like  a  reindeer  he  sped, 

[43] 


Leaving  Tommy  to  face  the  old  gentleman's  rage, 

Who  quickly  jumped  up,  —  he  was  brisk 
^Sm  for  his  age,  — 

|9J|  And  with   just   indignation    portrayed   on 

gl  his  face, 

^^r^^^^     To    Triangular  Tommy   he   quickly  gave 
chase. 

And  hearing  his  squeals 
And  his  frantic  appeals, 
Triangular  Tommy  fast  took  to  his  heels. 
Now  Tommy  was  agile  and  Tommy  was  spry; 

He  whizzed  through  the  air  —  he  just  seemed 

to  fly; 
He     rushed     madly     on,     until,     dreadful    to 


say 


He  came  where  the  railroad  was  just  in  his 

way  — 
And  alas  !  and  alack  ! 
He  tripped  on  the  track 

And  then  with  a  terrible,  sudden  ker-thwack ! 
Triangular  Tommy  sprawled  flat  on  his  back  — 
And  the  train  came  along  with  a  crash,  and  a  crack, 
A  din,  and  a  clatter,  a  clang,  and  a  clack, 
A  toot,  and  a  boom,  and  a  roar,  and  a  hiss, 
And  chopped  him  up  all  into  pieces  like  this  — 
If  you  cut  out  papers  just  like  them, 

why,  then, 

If  you  try,  you  can  put  him  together  again. 
[44] 


OLD  Santa  Glaus  is  up-to-date, 

And  hereafter,  rumors  say, 
He'll  come  with  his  pack  of  glittering  toys, 
And  visit  the  homes  of  girls  and  boys, 

In  a  new  reindeerless  sleigh. 


[45] 


OH,  it  was  a  merry,  gladsome  day, 
When  the  April  Fool  met  the  Queen  of  May; 
She  had  roguish  eyes  and  golden  hair, 
And  they  were  a  mischief-making  pair. 
They  planned  the  funniest  kind  of  a  joke 
On  the  poor,  long-suffering  mortal  folk; 
[46] 


And  a  few  mysterious  words  he  said, 

His  fool's  cap  close  to  her  flower-crowned  head. 

Then  he  laughed  till  he  made  his  cap-bells  ring, 

At  the  thought  of  the  topsy-turvy  Spring. 

"  'Tis  a  fair  exchange,"  he  said,  with  a  wink  — 

"It  is!"  she  said,  and  what  do  you  think? 

The  flowers  that  should  bloom  in  the  month  of  May 

Every  one  of  them  came  on  an  April  day! 

And  they  looked  for  April  showers  in  vain, 

But  all  through  May  it  did  nothing  but  rain! 


[47] 


A  is  for  Alice  a-dressing 
the  Queen. 


is  for  Borogoves,  mimsy 
and  lean. 


is  the  Cheshire 
Cat,  wearing  a 
grin. 


D 


is  the  Duchess  who  had 
a  sharp  chin. 


\  •  •     £7  is  the  Eaglet  who  barred 


out  long  words. 


the  Flamingo,  the  queer- 
est  of  birds. 


[49] 


is  the  Gryphon, 
loquacious  and  gay. 


H 


44 

Humpty  Dumpty 
9     in  gorgeous  array 


is  for  Insects  with 
curious  names. 


[50] 


j 


44 

is  the  Jabberwock 
burbling  with  flames. 


K 


is  the  King  who  was 
whizzed  through  the 


ar. 


L 


:is  the  Lobster  who  sug- 
ared his  hair. 


M, 


the  Mock  Turtle, 
whose  tears  freely 
flowed. 


Ois  for  Oysters  who 
/  ,  trotted  so  quick. 


[50 


Pis  the  Puppy 
who   played 
9  9         with  a  stick. 


is  the  Queen  who  ran  very  fast 

46 


R 


is  the  Rabbit  who  blew 
a  great  blast 


[53] 


is   the  Sheep,   on   her 
knitting  intent. 


T 


Tweedledum,  with    his 
9       noisy  lament. 


u 


is  the   Unicorn,  valiant  in 
feud. 


[54] 


V 


f  is  the  Violet,  sancy 
and  rude. 


w 


the      Walrus, 
9      addicted  to 
chat. 


x. 


Executioner,   seek- 
ing the  cat. 


C55] 


is  the  Youth  Father  Wil- 
liam surveyed. 


is  the  Zigzag  the  mouse's 
tail  made. 


Fury  said  to 
a  mouse.  That 

he    met    in   the 
house,  -Lai 


"^ 

•n?'i" 


[56] 


5f?e 


r\itteps 


ONCE  there  were  some  silly  kittens, 
And  they  knitted  woolly  mittens 

To  bestow  upon  the  freezing  Hottentots. 
But  the  Hottentots  refused  them, 
Saying  that  they  never  used  them 

Unless  crocheted  of  red  with  yellow  spots. 


So  the  silly  little  kittens 

Took  their  blue  and  white  striped  mittens 

To  a  Bear  who  lived  within  a  hollow  tree; 

[57] 


[58] 


The  Bear  responded  sadly, 

"I  would  wear  your  mittens  gladly, 

But  I  fear  they  are  too  gay  for  such  as  me." 

Then  the  kittens,  almost  weeping, 
Came  to  where  a  Cow  lay  sleeping, 

And  they  woke  her  with  this  piteous  request, 
"Won't  you  wear  our  mittens  furry?" 
Said  the  Cow,  "My  dears,  don't  worry; 

I  wfll  put  them  on  as  soon  as  I  am  dressed.*" 


Then  the  Cow  put  on  her  bonnet 
With  a  wreath  of  roses  on  it, 

And  a  beautiful  mantilla  fringed  with  white; 
And  she  donned  the  pretty  mittens, 
While  the  sffly  tittle  kittens 

Clapped  then-  paws  in  admiration  at  the  sight 
[59] 


T1??  5tri^  °f 


TWAS  the  night  before  the  Fourth  of  July,  the  people 

slept  serene; 
The   fireworks   were   stored   in   the   old   town  hall   that 

stood  on  the  village  green. 
The  steeple  clock  tolled   the  midnight  hour,  and  at  its 

final  stroke, 
The  fire  in  the  queer  old-fashioned  stove  lifted  its  voice 

and  spoke  ; 
"The  earth  and  air  have  naught  to  do,  the  water,  too, 

may  play, 
And  only  fire  is  made  to  work  on  Independence  Day. 

"I   won't   stand   such   injustice!     It's   wrong,   beyond   a 

doubt, 

And  I  shall  take  my  holiday.    Good-by,  I'm  going  out  !  " 
Up   spoke    a    Roman    candle    then,    "  The    principle    is 

right  ! 
Suppose    we    strike,    and   all    agree    we    will    not    work 

to-night  !  " 
"  My  stars  !  "  said  a  small  sky-rocket.     "  What  an  awful 

time  there'll  be, 
When  the  whole  town  comes  together  to-night,  the  great 

display  to  see  !  " 

[60] 


"Let    them    come,"    said    a   saucy    pinwheel,    "yes,    let 

them  come  if  they  like, 
As  a  delegate  I'll  announce  to  them  that  the  fireworks 

are  going  to  strike  !  " 
"  My  friends,"  said   a   small  cap-pistol,  "  this   movement 

is  all  wrong,  — 
Gunpowder,    noise,    and    fireworks    to    Fourth    of    July 

belong. 

My  great  ancestral  musket  made  Independence  Day, 
I  frown  on  your  whole  conspiracy,  and  you  are  wrong, 

I  say ! " 

And    so    they   talked   and   they   argued,   some    for    and 

some  against, — 
And   they  progressed   no   further  than   they  were  when 

they  commenced. 
Until   in   a   burst   of    eloquence  a   queer  little   piece   of 

punk 
Arose    in    his    place    and    said,    "  I    think  we   ought   to 

show  some  spunk. 

And  I  for  one  have  decided,  although  I  am  no  shirk, 
That  to-day  is  a  legal  holiday  and  not  even  fire  should 

work. 

"And    I    am   of   some   importance,"  —  here    he    gave    a 

pretentious  cough, 
"  For   without   my   assistance    none   of    you   could  very 

well  be  put  off." 
"You  are  right,"  said  the  Roman  candle,  "and  I  think 

we  are  all  agreed 

[61] 


To  strike  for   our  rights  and  our   liberty.     Hurrah!   we 

shall  succeed  ! " 
The  dissenters   cried  with  one  accord,   "  Our   objections 

we  withdraw. 
Hurrah,    hurrah    for    the   fireworks'    strike ! "    and    they 

cried  again,  "  Hurrah  !  " 

Then  a  match  piped  up  with  a  tiny  voice,  "  Your 
splendid  scheme  I  like. 

I  agree  with  all  your  principles  and  so  I,  too,  will 
strike ! " 

Suiting  the  action  to  the  word,  the  silly  little  dunce 

Clambered  down  from  his  matchsafe  and  excitedly  struck 
at  once. 

He  lost  his  head,  and  he  ran  around  among  the  fire- 
works dry, 

And  he  cried,  "Hurrah  for  the  fireworks'  strike!  Hur- 
rah for  the  Fourth  of  July ! " 

With  his  waving  flame  he   lit   the  punk —  a  firecracker 

caught  a  spark,  — 
Then    rockets    and    wheels    and    bombs    went    off  —  no 

longer  the  place  was  dark! 
The  explosions  made  a  fearful  noise,  the  flames  leaped 

high  and  higher, 
The  village  folk  awoke  and  cried,  "  The  town  hall  is  on 

fire ! " 
So    the    strike    of   the    fireworks    ended  in   a  wonderful 

display 

Of  pyrotechnic  grandeur  on  Independence  Day! 
[62] 


Jfje 


Armadillo 


THERE  once  was  an  arch  Armadillo 
Who  built  him  a  but  "neath  a  willow ; 
He  hadn't  a  bed 
So  he  rested  his  head 
On  a  young  Porcupine  for  a  pillow. 


[63] 


ONCE  there  was  a  little  boy  who  wouldn't  go  to  bed, 
When   they  hinted   at   the  subject   he  would  only  shake 

his  head, 
When  they  asked  him  his  intentions,  he  informed   them 

pretty  straight 
That  he  wouldn't  go  to  bed  at  all,  and  Nursey  needn't  wait. 

As   their   arguments   grew   stronger,    and    their   attitude 

more  strict, 
I  grieve  to  say  that  naughty  boy  just  yelled  and  screamed 

and  kicked. 
And  he  made  up  awful  faces,  and  he  told  them  up  and 

down 
That  he  wouldn't   go  to   bed   for  all   the   nurses   in  the 

town. 

Then    Nursey  lost   her  patience,  and   although  it  wasn't 

right, 
Retorted    that    for    all    she    cared   he    might    sit   up    all 

night. 
He  approved  of  this  arrangement,  and  he  danced  a  jig 

for  joy, 
And  turned  a  somersault  with  glee;    he  was  a  naughty 

boy. 

[64] 


And  so  they  all  went  off  to  bed  and  left  him  sitting  there, 
Right  in   the  corner  by  the  fire  in  Grandpa's   big  arm- 

chair. 
He   read   his   books   and   played   his   games,  —  he  even 

sang  a  song 
And    thought   how   lovely   it  ^=^  —  =-  . 

would  be   to   sit   up   all 

night  long. 

But   soon    his    games   grew 

stupid,  and  his  puz- 

zles   wouldn't 

work; 
He   drew   himself 

up  stiffly  with 

a   sudden   lit- 

tle jerk, 
And  he  said,  "  I  am 

not  sleepy,  and  I 

love  to  play  alone 
And  —  I  —  think  —  "  the  rest  was 

mumbled  in  a  drowsy  monotone. 


v  -^J//  /—^  x  ' 
ne  —        O'        \*~| 
" 


He  leaned  back  on  the  cushions  like  that  night  he  had 

the  croup; 

His  head  began  to  wobble  and  his  eyes  began  to  droop  ; 
He  closed  them  for  a  minute,  just  to  see  how  it  would 

seem, 
And  straightway  he  was  sound  asleep,  and  dreamed  this 

awful  dream! 

[65] 


He   thought   he    saw   a    garden    filled    with    flowers  and 

roses  gay, 
A   great   big   gardener  with    a   hoe   came  walking  down 

his  way; 
"  Ah,  ha !  "  exclaimed  the  gardener,  as  he  clutched  him 

by  the  head, 


"Here's   a  fine  specimen  I've  found;    I'll   plant   him  in 

this  bed ! " 
He   held   the   boy  in  one   big   hand,  unheeding   how  he 

cried, 

And  with  the  other  dug  a  hole  enormous,  deep,  and  wide. 
[66] 


He  jammed  the  little  fellow  in,  and  said  in  gruffest  tone, 
"This   is   the  bed   for   naughty  boys  who   won't   go   to 
their  own." 

And  then  the  dirt  was  shovelled  in,  —  it  covered  up  his 

toes, 
His  ankles,  knees,  and  waist  and  arms,  and   higher  yet 

it  rose. 

For  still  the  gardener  shovelled  on,  not  noticing  his  cries; 
It  came  up  to  his  chin  and   mouth — it  almost  reached 

his  eyes; 

Just   then   he   gathered    all  his  strength   and  gave   an 

awful  scream, 

And  woke  himself,  and  put  an  end  to  that  terrific  dream. 
And   he   said,  as   Nursey  tucked   him  up  and  bade  him 

snugly  rest, 
"When   I   am   planted  in  a  bed,   I   Kke   my   own    the 

best." 


[67] 


Rivals 


IP  t 

EK      ^N^^^L 

I 


Two  well-built  men,  neither  giant  nor  dwarf, 
Were  Monsieur  Elims  and  Mynheer  Nworf. 
They  lived  in  a  town  not  far  away, 
And  spent  their  time  in  work  and  play. 
Now  Monsieur  Elims  was  loved  by  all  — 
By  rich  and  poor,  by  great  and  small. 
And  Mynheer  Nworf  remarked  one  day, 
"Brother,  explain  to  me,  I  pray, 


jB=a 


^^ 


[68] 


Why  no  one  likes  me  as  well  as  you, 

No  matter  what  I  may  say  or  do. 

I  have  stores  of  knowledge  packed  in  my  head; 

I  am  learned  and  wise  and  very  well  read; 

I  can  dance,  I  can  sing,  I'm  extremely  polite ; 

I  am  worth  a  large  fortune  all  in  my  own  right. 

But    still,  —  and    this    question    has    caused    me    much 

thought,  — 

While  I  am  neglected,  you're  even-where  sought." 
Monsieur  Elims  replied :  "  My  dear  sir,  that  is  true, 
But  you  see,  I  am  I,  and  you  see,  you  are  you. 
If  I  receive  praises  and  you  receive  blame, 
Tis  doubtless  because  each  lives  up  to  his  name." 

You'll  find  his  defence  rather  puzzling,  I  fear; 

But  read  their  names  backward  —  the  meaning  is  clear. 


[69] 


fleu; 

"I'VE  a  lovely  new  cup  from  Uncle  John," 

Said  Dorothy  ;    "  only  see  — 
It  has  beautiful  golden  letters  on, 

And  they  spell  '  Remember  Me.' '" 

"Oho!"  laughed  Fred.     "Why,  Dorothy  dear, 
They  put  that  on  mugs  and  plates : 

/'ve  studied  jography  'most  a  year, 
And  I  know  the  names  of  the  States. 

And  when  you  see  that  anywhere, — 
At  least,  since  this  fuss  with  Spain, — 

It's  the  President  who  puts  it  there, 

And  it  means  '  Remember  the  Maine ' !  " 


[70] 


ic;  pailure 


MR.  HEZEKIAH  HINKLE 
Saw  a  patient  Periwinkle 

With  a  kodak,  sitting  idly  by  a  rill 
Feeling  a  desire  awaken 
For  to  have  his  picture  taken,  r 

Mr.  Hezekiah  Hinkle  stood  stock-stilL 


Mr.  Hezekiah  Hinkle 

Felt  his  brow  begin  to  wrinkle, 
And  his  pose  assume  a  sad  and  solemn  style; 

But  the  Periwinkle  trusted, 

As  the  focus  he  adjusted, 
That  his  customer  would  kindly  try  to  smile. 

Mr.  Hezekiah  Hinkle 

Felt  his  eyes  begin  to  twinkle, 

And  his  mouth  took  on  a  broad  and  open  grin ; 
Said  the  Periwinkle,  sadly, 
"If  you  stretch  your  jaw  so  madly, 

I  fear  perhaps  that  I  shall  tumble  in." 

Mr.  Hezekiah  Hinkle 

Felt  his  hair  begin  to  crinkle, 


As  it  rose  up  on  his  forehead  in  affright; 

Though  his  comrade  spoke  so  mildly, 

Mr.  Hinkle  wondered  wildly, 
How  he  could  escape  this  dire  and  awful  plight. 

Mr.  Hezekiah  Hinkle 

Said,  "  I  fear  it's  going  to  sprinkle, 
And  really  for  a  storm  I'm  not  prepared." 

Then  without  a  further  warning 

He  politely  said,  "  Good  morning," 
And  the  patient  Periwinkle  stood  and  stared. 


Christmas  (lifts 


TEX  Christmas  presents  standing  in  a  line; 
Robert  took  the  bicycle,  then  there  were  nine. 
Nine  Christmas  presents  ranged  in  order  straight; 
Bob  took  the  steam  engine,  then  there  were  eight. 
Eight  Christmas  presents  —  and  one  came  from  Devon; 
Robbie  took  the  jackknife,  then  there  were  seven. 
Seven  Christmas  presents  direct  from  St.  Nick's; 
Bobby  took  the  candy  box,  then  there  were  six. 
Six  Christmas  presents,  one  of  them  alive; 
Rob  took  the  puppy  dog,  then  there  were  five. 
Five  Christmas  presents  yet  on  the  floor; 
Bobbin  took  the  soldier  cap,  then  there  were  four. 
Four  Christmas  presents  underneath  the  tree; 
Bobbet  took  the  writing  desk,  then  there  were  three. 
Three  Christmas  presents  still  in  full  view; 
Robin  took  the  checker  board,  then  there  were  two. 
Two  Christmas  presents,  promising  fun, 
Bobbles  took  the  picture  book,  then  there  was  one. 
One  Christmas  present  — and  now  the  list  is  done; 
Bobbinet  took  the  sled,  and  then  there  were  none. 
And  the  same  happy  child  received  every  toy, 
So  many  nicknames  had  one  little  boy. 
[73] 


You\)<j>  f\(r\er\ea 


WEE    Willie   sat   a- 

thinking, 
And  he  shook  his 

curly  head. 
Around  him  on  the 

nursery  floor 
His  treasures  lay  outspread. 

Firecrackers  and  torpedoes, 

Trumpet  and  flag  and  drum, 
Rockets  and  pinwheels  and  paper  caps, 

For  Fourth  of  July  had  come. 

"  But  it  makes  me  sort  o'  sorry," 

Wee  Willie  said  with  a  sigh, 
"To  think  of  those  poor  little  English  boys 

Without  any  Fourth  of  July." 
[74] 


ft  Bieyel^  built  for  5u/o 

THERE  was  an  ambitious  young  eel 
Who  determined  to  ride  on  a  wheel; 

But  try  as  he  might, 

He  couldn't  ride  right, 
In  spite  of  his  ardor  and  zeaL 

If  he  sat  on  the  saddle  to  ride 
His  tail  only  pedalled  one  side; 

And  I'm  sure  you'll  admit 

That  an  eel  cvuldnt  sit 
On  a  bicycle  saddle  astride. 

Or  if  he  hung  over  the  top, 
He  could  go,  but  he  never  could  stop; 
For  of  course  it  is  clear 
He  had  no  way  to  steer, 
And  under  the  wheel  he  would  flop. 

His  neighbor,  observing  the  fun, 

Said,  "I  think  that  the  thing  can  be  done, 

If  you'll  listen  to  me, 

You'll  quickly  agree 
That  two  heads  are  better  than  one. 
[75] 


"And  this  is  my  project,  old  chap, 
Around  our  two  waists  I  will  wrap 
This  beautiful  belt 
Of  bottle-green  felt 
And  fasten  it  firm  with  a  strap." 


This  done,  with  a  dignified  mien 
The  two  squirmed  up  on  the  machine, 
And  rode  gayly  away, 
Or  at  least,  so  they  say, 
Who  witnessed  the  wonderful  scene. 


[76] 


Dorothy's 


MAMMA  has  bought  a  calendar, 

And  every  single  page 
Has  pictures  on  of  little  girls 

'Most  just  about  my  age. 

And  when  she  bought  it  yesterday, 
Down  at  the  big  bazaar, 

She  said,  "What  lovely  little  girls, 
How  true  to  life  they  are." 
[77] 


But  I  don't  think  they're  true  to  life, 

And  I'll  just  tell  you  why ; 
They  never  have  a  rumpled  frock 

Or  ribbon  bow  awry. 

And  though  they  play  with  cats  and  dogs, 

And  rabbits  and  white  mice, 
And  sail  their  boats  and  fly  their  kites, 

They  always  look  so  nice. 

And  I  am  sure  no  little  girl 

That  ever  /  have  seen, 
Could  play  with  dogs  or  sail  a  boat 

And  keep  her  frock  so  clean. 


[78] 


Jl?e  I^oll  of  F^oly  poly  F^oy 


OXCE  on  a  time  a  lad  I  knew — 

His  sister  called  him  Bubby; 
His  cheeks  were  red,  bis  eyes  were 

blue, 

And  he  was  plump  and  chubby. 
Indeed,  he  was  so  stout  a  boy, 
Some  called  him  Roly  Poly  Roy; 
They  called  him  that 
For  he  was  fat 
And  very  plump  and  chubby. 

He  caused  his  father  grief  profound, 
And  made  his  mother  worry, 


Because  he'd  roll  along  the  ground 

When  he  was  in  a  hurry. 
For  as  he  couldn't  see  his  toes, 
He  often  tumbled  on  bis  nose; 
[79] 


So,  on  the  whole, 

'Twas  best  to  roll 

When  he  was  in  a  hurry. 

"  Get  up !  "  the  people  urged,  but  he 
Replied,  "  There's  no  use  talking ; 
I  roll  around  because,  you  see, 

It's  easier  than  walking." 
And  though  it  looked  extremely  droll 
To  see  the  lad  lie  down  and  roll, 
It  was,  forsooth, 
For  that  fat  youth 
Far  easier  than  walking. 


One  day  he  thought  he'd  try  to  ride; 

Alas,  he  was  so  bulky, 
He  tumbled  off  the  other  side, 

Which  made  him  rather  sulky. 
[80] 


He  heard  his  comrades  jeer  and  scoff, 
Again  he  tried  and  tumbled  off, 

And  when  he  fell 

They'd  shout  and  yell  — 
Of  course  it  made  him  sulky. 

Just  out  of  town  there  was  a  place 

With  rolling  ground  and  hilly, 
And  here  Roy  started  for  a  race 

With  Dick  and  Tom  and  Willy. 
You'll  know  of  course  before  you're  told 
That  Roy  just  laid  him  down  and  rolled; 
And  so,  you  see, 
He  easily 
Beat  Dick  and  Tom  and  Willy. 

That  day  two  giants  came  along 

From  Huncamunca  Valley, 
Seeking  some  tenpins  good  and  strong 

For  their  new  bowling  alley. 
They  reached  the  hilly  sort  of  place 
Just  as  our  hero  won  the  race; 
"Look  at  him  roll!" 
They  said.     "  He'll  bowl 
On  our  new  bowling  alley. 

"The  other  boys  are  squarely  built; 

For  tenpins  they'll  do  finely! 
No  matter  if  a  few  get  kilt," 

And  then  they  smiled  benignly. 


[82] 


Quickly  they  kidnapped  ten  small  boys, 
All  howling  with  a  fearful  noise ; 

They  took  them  all, 

And  Roy  for  ball, 
And  then  they  smiled  benignly. 

They  hurried  to  their  home  and  then 
Began  their  barbarous  bowling. 

They  set  in  rows  the  children  ten 
And  then  set  Roy  a-rolling. 


But  as  the  giants  were  strong  and  great, 
They  shot  poor  Roy  at  such  a  rate, 

And  with  such  might, 

That  out  of  sight 
Poor  Roy  was  set  a-rolling. 

He  rolled  and  rolled  and  rolled  and  rolled, 
But  soon,  his  fears  dispelling, 
[83] 


With  happiness  he  did  behold 

He'd  safely  reached  his  dwelling. 
Secure  and  safe  from  further  harms, 
His  mother  caught  him  in  her  arms, 
And  said  with  joy, 
"  My  darling  boy, 
You've  safely  reached  your  dwelling. 

Now  rolling  seems  to  -him  to  be 
More  dangerous  than  walking. 
And  Roly  Poly  Roy  you'll  see 
Along  the  sidewalks  stalking. 
He'll  always  have  a  certain  fear 
That  giants  may  be  lurking  near, 
And  so  he'll  go 
With  motion  slow 
Along  the  sidewalk  stalking. 


(T\y  Barometer 


MY  little  maid  with  golden  hair 
Comes    each    morning    for    a 

kiss; 
And    I    know    the    day   will   be 

fine  and  fan- 
When  Polly  looks  like  this. 


Or  I  know  the  clouds  will  frown 

and  lower, 
The    skies    will    be    dull    and 


And   perhaps  there'll  be  a  pass- 

ing shower, 
When  Polly  looks  this  way. 


But  a  violent  storm  of  rain  or 

snow 

I  can  prognosticate, 
For  the  sign  will  never  fail,  I 

know, 
When  this  is  Polly's  pate. 

[85] 


Butter  Betty 


BETTY  BOTTA  bought  some  butter; 

"  But,"  said  she,  "  this  butter's  bitter  ! 

If  I  put  it  in  my  batter 

It  will  make  my  batter  bitter. 

But  a  bit  o'  better  butter 

Will  but  make  my  batter  better." 

Then  she  bought  a  bit  o'  butter 

Better  than  the  bitter  butter, 

Made  her  bitter  batter  better. 

So  'twas  better  Betty  Botta 

Bought  a  bit  o'  better  butter. 


[86] 


f\  /T)aruel 


AN  old  astronomer  there  was 

Who  lived  up  in  a  tower, 
Named  Ptolemy  Copernicus 

Flammarion  McGower. 
He  said :  "  I  can  prognosticate 

With  estimates  correct; 
And  when  the  skies  I  contemplate, 

I  know  what  to  expect. 
When  dark'ning  clouds  obscure  my  sight, 

I  think  perhaps  'twill  rain; 
And  when  the  stars  are  shining  bright, 

I  know  'tis  clear  again." 
And  then  abstractedly  he  scanned 

The  heavens,  hour  by  hour, 
Old  Ptolemy  Copernicus 

Flammarion  McGower. 
[87] 


Zoo 


A  WAS  an  apt  Alligator, 
Who  wanted  to  be  a  head-  waiter; 
He  said,  "  I  opine 
In  that  field  I  could  shine, 
Because  I  am  such  a  good  skater.'5 

B  was  a  beggarly  Bear, 

Who  carefully  curled  his  front  hair; 

He  said,  "I  would  buy 

A  red-spotted  tie,  — 
But  I  haven't  a  penny  to  spare." 

C  was  a  cool  Chimpanzee, 
Who  went  to  an  afternoon  tea. 

When  they  said,  "Will  you  take 

A  caraway  cake  ?  " 
He  greedily  took  twenty-three  ! 

D  was  a  diligent  Doe, 

In  summer  she  shovelled  the  snow  ; 

In  the  spring  and  the  fall 

She  did  nothing  at  all, 
And  in  winter  the  grass  she  would  mow. 
[88] 


E  was  an  erudite  Ermine, 
Who  tried  very  hard  to  determine 
If  he  sJwuld  earn  a  cent, 
How  it  ought  to  be  spent, 
And  decided  to  purchase  a  sermon. 

F  was  a  fussy  Flamingo, 

Who  remarked  to  his  family,  "  By  jingo ! 

I  think  I  would  go 

To  that  animal  show, 
But  they  all  talk  such  barbarous  lingo." 

G  was  a  giddy  Gazelle, 

Who  never  could  learn  how  to  spell; 
But  she  managed  to  pass 
To  the  head  of  her  class, 

Because  she  did  fractions  so  welL 

H  was  a  haughty  young  Hawk, 

Who  affected  society  talk; 
But  when  introduced 
At  a  large  chicken  roost 

He  excitedly  screamed  out,  "Oh,  Lawk!' 

I  was  an  idle  Iguana, 
Who  lived  upon  curried  banana; 
With  tears  he'd  protest 
That  he  never  could  rest 
Till  he  learned  to  sing  "Eileen  Alanna." 
[89] 


J  was  a  jimp  Jaguar, 

Who  purchased  a  Spanish  guitar; 

He  played  popular  airs 

At  f ties  and  at  fairs, 
And  down  at  the  Fancy  Bazaar. 

K  was  a  kind  Kangaroo, 
Whose  bonnet  was  always  askew ; 
So  they  asked  her  to  wait 
While  they  put  it  on  straight 
And  fastened  it  firmly  with  glue. 

L  was  a  lachrymose  Leopard, 

Who  ate  up  twelve  sheep  and  a  shepherd, 

But  the  real  reason  why 

He  continued  to  cry 
Was  his  food  was  so  lavishly  peppered. 

!M  was  a  mischievous  Marten, 

Who  went  to  the  Free  Kindergarten ; 

When  they  asked  him  to  plat 

A  gay-colored  mat, 
He  tackled  the  job  like  a  Spartan. 

N  was  a  naughty  Nylghau, 
Who  wandered  too  near  a  buzz  saw. 
It  cut  off  his  toes, 
And  the  shrieks  that  arose 
Filled  all  of  the  neighbors  with  awe. 
[90] 


O  was  an  ossified  Oyster, 
Who  decided  to  enter  a  cloister. 

He  could  not  return, 

So  continued  to  yearn 
For  his  home  in  the  sea,  which  was  moisten 

P  was  a  poor  old  Poll  Parrot, 

Who  had  nothing  to  eat  but  a  carrot, 

And  nothing  to  wear 

But  a  wig  of  red  hair, 
And  nowhere  to  live  but  a  garret. 

Q  was  a  querulous  Quab 
Who  at  every  trifle  would  sob; 

He  said,  "I  detest 

To  wear  a  plaid  vest, 
And  I  hate  to  eat  corn  from  the  cob !  " 

R  was  a  rollicking  Ram, 
Attired  in  an  old  pillow  sham. 

When  asked  if  he'd  call 

At  the  masquerade  ball, 
He  said,  "  I'll  go  just  as  I  am." 

S  was  a  shy  Salamander, 
Who  slept  on  a  sunny  veranda. 

She  calmly  reposed, 

But,  alas!  while  she  dozed 
They  caught  her  and  killed  her  and  canned  her. 


T  was  a  tidy  young  Tapir, 
Who  went  out  to  bring  in  the  paper ; 
And  when  he  came  back 
He  made  no  muddy  track, 
For  he  wiped  his  feet  clean  on  the  scraper. 

TJ  was  a  young  Unicorn, 

The  bravest  that  ever  was  born. 

They  bought  him  a  boat 

And  they  set  him  afloat, 
And  straightway  he  sailed  for  Cape  Horn. 

V  was  a  vigorous  Vulture, 

Who  taught  animals  physical  culture ; 

When  a  pupil  dropped  dead, 

The  kind  teacher  said, 
"You  needn't  consider  sepulture." 

"W  was  a  wild  Worm, 

All  day  he  did  nothing  but  squirm. 

They  sent  him  to  school, 

But  he  broke  every  rule, 
And  left  at  the  end  of  the  term. 

X  was  a  Xiphias  brave, 

Who  lived  on  the  crest  of  the  wave, 
To  each  fish  he  would  say, 
"  Good  day,  sir,  good  day  !  " 

And  then  a  polite  bow  he  gave. 
[92] 


Y  was  a  young  Yellowhammer, 
Who  raised  a  ridiculous  clamor; 
And  he  chattered  until 
An  owl  said,  "  Keep  still ! 
I'm  trying  to  study  my  grammar." 

Z  was  a  zealous  old  Zibet, 
Toboggans  he  tried  to  prohibit. 

If  any  one  tried 

To  take  a  sly  slide, 
He  ordered  him  hanged  on  a  gibbet. 


[93] 


poupd 


THERE   lived   a  wondrous  sculptor  once,  a  genius  in  his 

way, 
Named  Phidias   Praxiteles   Canova 

Merry  day. 
He  sat  within  his  studio  and  said, 

"  I  really  must 
Begin   a  Rhodian  anaglyptic  cero- 

plastic  bust. 

"  My  customers  demand  them,  their 
fame  rings  near  and  far, 

But  then,  alas,  the 
trouble  is,  I 
don't  know 
what  they  are. 


Though  I  could  carve  a  Venus  or  a  Belvedere  with  ease, 
My  wondrous  skill  is  lacking  when  it  comes  to  carving 
these. 

"I  cast  and  cut  and  chisel,  I  model  and  I  mould, 
I  copy  poses  picturesque  from  studies  new  and  old; 
In  marble,  bronze,  and   potter's  clay,  in  wax  and  wood 

and  stone 
I  carve  the  old-time  statues  with  improvements  of  my 


"I  have  Apollo  on  a  horse,  Minerva  on  a  wheel, 
I  Hercules  going  fishing  with  his  basket  and  his  creel. 
A  Mercury  on  roller-skates,  Diana 

with  a  hat, 
And  Venus  playing  tennis  with 

Achilles  at  the  bat 

"Yet  these  my  customers  pass  by, 
and  ask  with  interest  keen, 

For  things  with  long  and 
tiresome  names,  —  I 
don't    know    what 
they  mean. 

And  so  I  let  my  ham- 
mers hang,  and  let 
my  chisels  rust, 

iFor    I    cannot 
do  an  ana- 
glyptic  cero- 
plastic  bust" 

[95] 


f\ 


Jale  of  Jea 


THE  Beetle  was  blind,  and  the  Bat  was  blinder, 
And  they  went  to  take  tea  with  the  Scissors-grinder. 
The  Scissors-grinder  had  gone  away 
Across  the  ocean  to  spend  the  day ; 
But   he'd  tied   .  |   his  bell  to  the  grapevine  swing, 
the  Beetle  heard  it  ring, 
the  Beetle  nor  Bat  could  see 
offered  them  any  tea. 
and  patient,  they're  waiting  yet 
of  tea  they  expect  to  get. 


The  Bat  and 

And  neither 
Why  no  one 
So,  polite 
For  the  cup 


'^*+~f£> 


[96] 


Erratic 


THERE  was  a  ridiculous  Rat 
Who  was  awfully  puffy  and  fat. 
"Ill  cany,"  he  said, 
"This  plate  on  my  head, 
Twill  answer  in  place  of  a  hat." 


And  then  he  remarked  with  a  frown, 
"I  suppose  that  I  must  have  a  gown; 
111  make  me  a  kflt 
Of  this  old  crazy-quilt, 
To  wear  when   I'm  going  to 
town. 


"And  of  course,  though  the  weather  is  warm, 
It  may  be  there'll  come  up  a  storm; 

An  umbrella  111  make 

Of  a  caraway  cake, 
It'll  match  with  my  whole 


And  I'll  carry  a  bottle  of  ink 
In  case  I  should  wish  for  a  drink 
And  this  flat-iron  so  sweet 
I'll  take  with  me  to  eat, 
And  now  I  am  ready,  I  think." 


[98] 


Ju/o  priepd5 


A  SPIDER  and  a  Centipede  went  out  to  take  a  walk; 
The    Centipede    said   frankly,    "I  will    listen  while  you 

talk, 

But  I  may  appear  distracted,  or  assume  a  vacant  stare, 
Because   to   keep  my  feet  in  step  requires  my  constant 

care." 

Said   the  Spider:   "I  appreciate  your  most  pe- 
culiar case, 

And  your  feet  must  be  quite   handy  when  you 
want  to  run  a  race; 
[99] 


But   though   you   gain   in    some  ways,  in   some 

other  ways  you  lose ; 
And,  of   course,  my  friend,  you  must  be   quite 

extravagant  in  shoes." 

"Ah!  yes.  Ah!  yes,"  a  heavy  sigh  escaped  the  Centi- 
pede; 

"  And  I  have  other  trials,  too ;  —  my  life  is  hard  in- 
deed! 

Why,  sometimes  when  I'm  very  tired,  a  long,  long  time 
it  takes 

To  ascertain  with  certainty  which  foot  it  is  that  aches. 

"  And  when  I  go  to  dancing-class  on  Saturdays  at  three, 

I  find  the  First  Position  very  difficult  for  me. 

Though  I  put  my  best   foot  foremost,  and  good   time  I 

try  to  keep, 
To  my  chagrin,  I  often  find  a  foot  or  two  asleep. 

Athletics  I  attempted,  but,  alas  !  I  must  admit 
That  every  exercise  I  tried  I  put  my  foot  in  it. 
I  think  I'll  join  a  foot-ball  team,  —  as  many 

friends  suggest,  — 
Before   I've  one  foot  in  the  grave  and   gout  in 

all  the  rest. 

But  now  I'll   say  good-morning;  for,  my  friend,  I   have 

to  stop 
To  get  my  boots  blacked  neatly  at  this  little  boot-black's 

shop; 

[100] 


And,  as  you  may  imagine,  it  will  keep  me  here  some 
time, 

But,  what  is  worse,  I'll  have  to  pay  him  many  a  hard- 
earned  dime." 

The  Spider  said  good-morning,  and  pursued  his 
way  alone, 

And  as  he  went  he  murmured,  in  a  thoughtful 
undertone : 

"I'm  a  happy  little  Spider,  and  I'm  very  glad 
indeed, 

That  I  was  born  an  octoped  and  not  a  centi- 
pede!" 


[101] 


THERE  was  an  old  Shark  with  a  smile 
So  broad  you  could  see  it  a  mile. 
He  said  to  his  friends, 
As  he  sewed  up  the  ends, 
"  It  was  really  too  wide  for  the  style." 


/T\ereury's 


I  DON'T  know  why  I'm  slandered  so,     \ 
If  I  go  high,  —  if  I  go  tow,— 
There's  always  some  one  who  wfll 

say, 

"Just  see  that  mercury  to-day!" 
And  whether  toward  the  top 

I  ciawl 
Or  down  toward  zero  I  may 

fall, 

They  always  fret,  and  say  that  I 
Am  far  too  low  or  far  too  high. 
Although  I  try  with  all  my  might, 
I  never  seem  to  strike  it  right. 
Now  I  admit  it  seems  to  me 
They  show  great  inconsistency. 
Bat  they  imply  /  am  to  blame  ; 
Of  coarse  that  makes  my  anger  flame, 
And  in  a  fiery  fit  of  pique 
I  stay  at  ninety  for  a  week. 
Or  sometimes  in  a  dull  despair, 
I  give  them  just  a  frigid  stare; 


And  as  upon  their  taunts  I  think 
My  spirits  down  to  zero  sink. 
Mine  is  indeed  a  hopeless  case; 
To  strive  to  please  the  human  race! 


[104] 


ONCE  there  was  a  Pirate  Poodle, 
And  he  sailed  the  briny  seas 

From  the  land  of  Yankee  Doodle 
Southward  to  the  Caribbees. 


He  would  boast  with  tales  outlandish, 

Of  his  valor  and  renown; 
And  his  cutlass  he  would  brandish 

With  a  fearful  pirate  frown. 
[105] 


So  ferocious  was  his  manner 
All  his  crew  looked  on,  aghast; 

And  his  fearful  pirate  banner 
Floated  from  his  pirate  mast. 

He  reiterated  proudly 

Naught  had  power  to  make  him  quail; 
Yet  when  thunder  roared  too  loudly 

He.  would  turn  a  trifle  pale. 

And  he  turned  a  little  paler 

When  there  came  a  sudden  squall; 

For  this  funny  little  sailor 
Was  ridiculously  small. 


And  whene'er  a  storm  portended 
He'd  betake  himself  below. 

So  much  fear  and  courage  blended 
Did  a  pirate  ever  show  ? 
[106] 


Old 


PRISCILLA,  Auntie's  promised  me 

A  brand-new  Paris  doll; 
And  though  I  km:  you,  yet  you  see 

I  cannot  keep  you  alL 

Nursey  declares  I  really  must 

Throw  one  of  you  away; 
And  you're  the  oldest,  so  I  trust 

Yon  wfll  not  care  to  stay. 

You've  lost  an  arm,  your  dress  is  torn, 

Your  wig  is  all  awry; 
Priscflla,  you  are  so  forlorn, 

WeH  have  to  say  good-by. 


And  yet  —  oh,  don't!    my  dolly  dear, 

Don't  look  so  sad,  I  pray ! 
You  precious  dolly,  come  right  here, 

You  shan't  be  thrown  away ! 

You're  ragged,  yes,  and  lame  and  blind, 

You're  really  but  a  wreck ; 
But,  dear  Priscilla,  never  mind, 

/  do  not  care  a  speck. 

Your  eyes  do  nicely  when  they're  shut, 

And  I  can  mend  the  rest ; 
Well  —  p'raps  I'll  love  the  new  one  —  but 

I'll  always  love  you  best. 


[108] 


Bobby's 

OUR  Bobby  is  a  little  boy,  of  six  years  old,  or  so; 
And  every  kind  of  rubbish  in  his  pocket  he  will  stow. 

One  day  he  thought  he'd  empty  it  (so  he  again  could 

stock  it); 
And  here's  an   alphabet  of  what  was  found  in  Bobby's 

pocket. 

A.  was  a  rosy   Apple,  with   some  bites  out,  here  and 

there; 
B  was  a  bouncing  rubber  Ball  that  bounded  in  the  air. 

C  was  a  crispy  crusty  Cake  with  citron  on  the  top; 
D  was  a  dancing  Donkey  that  could  jump  around  and 
hop. 

E  was  a  little  robin's  Egg,  all  speckled  blue  and  brown ; 
F   was   a   fluffy  Feather   that   was   white   and   soft   as 
down. 

G   was    a   lively   Grasshopper,    whose    legs   and   wings 

were  green ; 
H  was  a  grimy  Handkerchief  that  once  perhaps  was 

clean. 

[109] 


I  was  a  plaster  Image  that  had  lost  its  plaster  head ; 
J  was  a  jolly  Jumping-Jack  all  painted  blue  and  red. 

K   was    a    keen    and    shining    Knife,    'twould    cut    the 

toughest  bark; 
L  was  a  little  wooden  Lion,  strayed  out  of  Noah's  Ark. 

M  was  a    Marble,  large   and  round,  with   colors  bright 

and  clear; 
N  was  a  bent  and  rusty  Nail,  of  little  use,  I  fear. 

O  was  a  tiny  Oil-can,  which  was  always  upside  down ; 
P  was  a  Penny  Bob  had  saved  to   spend   some  day  in 
town. 

Q  was  a  Quilted  ear-tab,  which  had  lost  its  velvet  mate ; 
R  was  a  Ring  with  a  glassy  gem  of  wondrous  size  and 
weight. 

S  was  a  String,  a  piece  of  Soap,  a  Stone,  a  Sponge,  a 

Stick ; 
T  was  a  lump  of  Taffy,  exceeding  soft  and  thick. 

U,  an  Umbrella-handle,  of  silver-mounted  horn ; 

V  was  a  comic  Valentine,  a  little  creased  and  worn. 

"W  was  some  sticky  Wax,  lovely  to  pinch  and  mould; 

X  was  an  old  Xpress  receipt,  worn  out  in  every  fold. 

[no] 


Y  was  a  lot   of  Yellow  Yarn,  all  bunched  up  like   a 

mop; 
Z   was   a  jagged   piece  of  Zinc,  found  in   a   plumber's 

shop. 

All  these   are   Bob's  possessions;  he  loves  every  single 

thing; 
And   owning  all   these   treasures   he's   as    happy   as   a 

King! 


THERE  was   a  youthful   genius   once,  a   boy  of   thirteen 

years, 

Named  Cyrus  Franklin  Edison  Lavoisier  De  Squeers. 
To  study  he  was  not  inclined,  for  fun  he  had  a  bent ; 
But  there  was  just  one  article  he 
wanted  to  invent. 

"  It's  a  sort  of  a  contraption  which 

will  work  itself,"  he  said, 
"  And,  without  studying,  will  put 

my  lessons  in  my  head." 
He  thought  and  puzzled  o'er  his 

plan,  he  worked  with  might 

and  main 
To  utilize  the  wondrous   schemes 

within  his  fertile  brain : 

Until    at    last   the   thing   was    done,  and   to    his    friends 

said  he : 

"  It  is  the  wonder  of  the  age !  Success  I  can  foresee ! 
My  great  invention  is  complete,  and  —  'tis  no  idle  vaunt  — 
I'm  sure  that  my  Instructiphone  will  fill  a  long-felt  want. 

[118] 


"The    action    is   quite    simple  —  I   will   try  to   make  it 

clear: 

This  funnel-shaped  receiver  I  apply  to  my  left  ear; 
Then    in    this    hopper    I  will    put   whate'er    I   wish   to 

learn  — 
A  page  of  history  or  of  Greek, — and   then  this  crank 

I'll  turn. 

"The  topic  goes  into  this  tube,  a  sort  of  phonograph 
Which  acts  directly  on  my  mind,  —  it  dves,  you  needn't 

laugh ! 
I    do    not    have    to    think    at   all,    for,    as    I    pull    this 

chain, 
My  wonderful  machine  transmits  the  knowledge  to  my 

brain." 

The  plan  was  good,  the  works  were  fine,  and  yet  there 

was  a  flaw; 
When   Cyrus  turned   the   crank  around,  the   neighbors 

watched  with  awe. 
He  confidently  pulled  the  chain  with   motion  quick  and 

deft; 
The  knowledge  entered  his  right  ear  —  and  came  out  at 

his  left 

He  tried  again,  —  a  page  of  Greek;  he  tried  a  theme 
occult, — 

A  message  and  an  errand, — every  time  the  same  re- 
sult! 


Then  Cyrus  knew  that  somehow  his  machine  had  missed 

its  aim ; 
For  though  the  works  ran  smoothly  it  was   always  just 

the  same. 

No   matter   what   the   book   might   be,    or  what   it  was 

about, 
It  would   go  in  at  one  ear,  —  at  the  other  'twould  come 

out! 

So  in  his  laboratory,  baffled  Cyrus  sitting  lone, 
Strives  to  correct  the  sad  defect  in  his  Instructiphone. 

But  it  is  my  opinion,  there's  no  fault  in  the  machine : 
The  trouble  is  that  Cyrus  is  like  other  boys  I've  seen. 


l^ay  of  t^  Cady 


THE  Lady  Lorraine  was  sweet  and  fair; 

The  Lady  Lorraine  was  young; 
She  had  wonderful  eyes  and  glorious  hair, 
And  a  voice  of  a  cadence  rich  and  rare; 
Oh,  she  was  a  lady  beyond  compare  — 
By  all  were  her  praises  sung, 
Till  valley  and  plain 
Took  up  the  refrain, 
And  rang  with  the  praise  of  the  Lady  Lorraine. 

And  besides  all  charms  of  form  and  face, 
There  were  other  attractions  about  Her  Grace; 
Besides  her  delicate,  lily-white  hands, 
She  had  rolling  acres  and  broad,  rich  lands; 
Besides  her  patrician  coat  of  arms, 
She  had  far-reaching  forests  and  fertile  farms; 
And  of  many  an  ancient  and  wide  domain  - 
The  beautiful  lady  was  chatelaine. 
So  of  course  at  her  door 
There  were  suitors  galore; 
They  came  by  the  dozen,  and  came  by  the  score. 

They  came  in  droves,  and  they  came  in  hordes, 
Titled  nobility,  —  princes,  lords, 
E"5] 


Dukes  and  marquises,  viscounts  and  peers, 
Ambassadors,  marshals,  grandees,  grenadiers, 
Barons  and  baronets,  earls,  and  esquires, 
Illustrious  sons  of  illustrious  sires : 

But  'twas  ever  in  vain 

They  sought  to  attain 
The  heart  and  the  hand  of  the  Lady  Lorraine. 

And  day  after  day 

They  turned  sadly  away; 
For  the  Lady  Lorraine  continued  to  say, 
Decidedly,  certainly,  stubbornly, 

"Nay!" 

She  cared  not  for  wreaths  of 
laurel  or  bay, 


Their  titles  or  rent  rolls  or  uniforms  gay, 
Their  medals  or  ribbons  or  gaudy  display, 
Their  splendid  equipment,  demeanor,  or  bearing  ; 
She   observed   not   their   manners,  nor   what   they  were 
wearing;  -  iifi  - 


Their  marvellous  exploits  for  her  had  no  charms: 

Their  prowess  in  tourney,  their  valor  at  arms; 

Their  wondrous  achievements  of  brawn  or  of  brain, — 

All,  all  were  as  naught  to  the  Lady  Lorraine. 

To  each  suitor  she'd  say,  with  her  hand  on  her  heart, 

"  Sir,  I  ask  of  you  only  that  you  will  depart" 

In  vain  they  entreated,  they  begged  and  they  plead, 
They  coaxed  and  besought,  and  they  sullenly  said 
That  she  was  hard-hearted,  unfeeling,  and  cruel 
They  challenged  each  other  to  many  a  duel; 
They  scowled   and   they  scolded,  they  sulked   and   they 

sighed, 
But  they  could  not  win  Lady  Lorraine  for  a  bride. 

Now  the  reason  for  this,  as  you  may  have  divined, 
Was  because  in  her  maidenly  heart  was  enshrined 
The  image  of  one  who  was  just  to  her  mind: 
Who  was  loving  and  kind, 
To  whose  faults  she  was  blind, — 
The  lord  of  her  heart,  and  the  love  of  her  Me, 
To  whom  she  had  promised  to  be  a  fond  wife. 
Her  Highness  was  happy,  for  even  now  he 
Was  hastening  to  her  across  the  blue  sea. 
He  had  written  to  say  he  was  then  on  the  way, 
And  would  greet  his  fair  lady  on  Christmas  day. 
*»»«*« 

Twas  Christmas  eve.     In  the  old  oak  hall 
Preparations  were  made  for  the  Christmas  ball 
C«7] 


Gay  garlands  were  hung  from  ceiling  and  wall; 

The  Yule  log  was  laid,  the  tables  arrayed, 

And  the  Lady  Lorraine  and  her  whole  cavalcade, 

From  the  pompous  old 
steward  to  the  scul- 
lery-maid, 

Were  all  in  a  fluster, 
Excitement  and  bluster, 
And  everything  shone  with 
a  marvellous  lustre. 

Such  savory  viands  the  larders  presented ; 
Such  wondrous  confections  the  bakers  invented: 
Such  pasties  and  cates  of  eccentric  design; 
Such  sparkling  decanters  of  rarest  old  wine; 
And  ready  at  hand  was  the  great  wassail-bowl, 
And  the  jolly  old  boar's  head,  with  lemon, 

so  droll. 
The    nook    for    musicians    was    carefully 

planned, 
And  carols  and  glees  would  be  played  by 

the  band. 


At  last  all  was  ready.     The  workmen  were  done ; 
And  awaiting  the  jollity,  mirth,  and  frivolity, 
The  games  and  the  dancing,  the  feasting  and  fun, 
The  old  hall  was  empty,  —  save  only  for  one, — 
The  Lady  Lorraine,  who  surveyed  it  with  pride, 
And  said,  "It  is  worthy  of  Lord  Cecil's  bride!" 
[118] 


Then  a  bright  smile  illumined  her  happy  young  face, 

Her  roguish  eyes  twinkled,  and  gayly  Her  Grace 

Crossed    the   old   polished   floor  with   a   step   light   and 
quick, 

And  her  high  slipper,  heels  went  clickety-click. 

She  looked  cautiously  round,  —  she  was  all   by  herself ; 
Like  a  mischievous  elf, 
She  took  from  a  shelf 

A  mistletoe  spray  with  its  berries 
like  pearls; 

Then   tossing   her  head  and  shak- 
ing her  curls, 

In  a  manner  half  daring  and  yet 
half  afraid, 

The   madcap    maid,   with    a   smile 
that  betrayed 

Expectant   thoughts    of    her    lover 
dear, 

Fastened  the  spray  to  the  chande- 
lier. 

Them  in  a  merry,  fanciful  mood, 
Inspired  by  the  time  and  the  solitude, 

The  Lady  Lorraine, 

In  whimsical  vein, 

Said,  "On  Christmas  eve,  'neath  this  mistletoe  bough, 
I'll  solemnly  make  an  immutable  vow." 
With  a  glance  at  the  portraits  that  hung  on  the  wall, 
She  said,  "I  adjure  ye  to  witness,  all: 


I  vow  by  the  names  that  I've  long  revered, — 
By  my  great-great-grandfather's  great  gray  beard, 

By  my  father's  sword,  by  my  uncle's 

hat, 

By  my  spinster  aunt's  Angora  cat, 
By  my  ancient  grandame's  buckled 

shoes, 
By  my   uncle  Gregory's  marvellous 

brews, 

By  Sir  Sydney's  wig, 
And  his  ruff  so  big,  — 
Indeed,  by  his  whole  preposterous  rig, — 
By  the  scutcheon  and  crest,  and  all  the  rest 
Of  the  signs  of  my  house,  I  vow  this  vow : 
That  whoever  beneath  this  mistletoe  bough 
Shall  first  kiss  me,  he  —  none  but  he  — 
My  partner  for  life  shall  henceforth  be." 

She    had    scarcely    ceased    when    she 

heard  a  sound. 

She  looked  around, 
And,  startled,  found 
From   the   old    oak   chimney    place   it 

came. 

For  there,  as  if  in  an  old  oak  frame, 
A  figure  quaint,  yet  familiar  too, 
Met  her  astonished,  bewildered  view. 
Of  aspect  merry,  yet  something  weird, 
With  kind  blue  eyes  and  a  long  white  beard, 

[120] 


Fur-trimmed  cloak,  and  a  peaked  cap, 
Rosy  cheeks, — a  jolly  old  chap; 
And,  though  surprised,  she  recognized 
St.  Nicholas,  dear  to  her  childhood  days, 
And  she  met  his  smfle  with  a  welcome  gaze. 

The  jolly  old  man  beheld  Her  Grace, 

With  her  laughing  eyes  and  her  winsome  face; 

He  couldn't  resist  her, — 

Indeed,  who  could?  — 

.And  he  heartily  kissed  her 

Where  she  stood! 
And  exultingry  cried,   "I   heard 

your  vow; 

And  Lady  Lorraine  shall  be  my 
bride  now ! " 

The  lady  trembled,  as  in  a  daze ; 
With   a   startled   gaze   of   blank 

amaze, 
She   looked   at    the    figure   who 

stood  by  her  side 
And  audaciously  claimed  her  for 

his  bride. 

Then  she  bowed  her  head 

And  the  color  fled 

From  the  cheeks  that  his  kiss  had  flushed  rosy  red. 
Her  heart  was  filled  with  a  sad  despair 
As  she  thought  of  her  lover,  Lord  Cecil  Clare, 


And  his  dire  dismay 

When  on  Christmas  day 
He  should  ride  up  gayly  in  brave  array, 
And  find  his  sweetheart  stolen  away. 

But  the  honor  and  pride  of  her  race  were  at  stake ; 

And  for  conscience'  sake 

She  dared  not  break 

Her  solemn  vow,  though  her  heart  might  ache. 
To  be  true  to  her  word,  her  sire  had  taught  her, 
And  she  was  a  loyal,  obedient  daughter. 
She  appealed  to  the  portraits  of  squires  and  dames, 
Who  looked  sternly  down  from  their  gilded  frames ; 
But  they  seemed  to  say,  "  There  must   ne'er  be  broken 
A  promise  or  vow  a  Lorraine  has  spoken." 

With  stifled  sighs,  and  with  tears  in  her  eyes, 
Though  she  tried  to  assume  a  cheerful  guise, 
She  turned  to  the  suitor  who  stood  apart, 
Awaiting  the  gift  of  her  hand  and  heart; 
And  she  said  with  a  gentle,  dignified  air: 
"My  heart  belongs  to  Lord  Cecil  Clare; 

But  my  fatal  vow, 

Though  I  rue  it  now, 
I  dare  net  break.     So,  at  your  command, 
I  fulfil  it !     On  you  I  bestow  my  hand." 

"  O  noble  lady ! "  her  suitor  cried, 
"'Twas  only  a  merry  test  I  tried. 
[122] 


Full  well  I  knew 

That  your  heart  was  true. 

Behold  your  lover,  my  bonny  bride! 

I  assumed  this  guise  for  a  Christmas  joke.' 
And  as  he  spoke, 
He  threw  off  his  cloak, 

He  flung  to  the  floor  his  peaked  hood, 

And  a  gallant  knight  before  her  stood! 


He  doffed  his  wig  and  his  long  white  beard ; 
All  signs  of  St.  Nicholas  disappeared; 
And  smiling  there,  in  the  firelight's  glare, 
Was  the  gay  and  noble  Lord  Cecil  Clare! 

The  lady  marvelled  —  a  glad  surprise 
Betokened  itself  in  her  lovely  eyes; 
And  with  her  merriment  quite  restored, 
She  said,  "You  are  welcome  home,  my  lord; 

And  I'm  thankful,  now, 

That  I  kept  my  vow." 


Lord  Cecil  raised  her  hand  to  his  lips, 
And  gallantly  kissed  her  finger  tips; 

While  the  squires  and  dames 

Looked  down  from  their  frames, 

And  "  Bless  you,  my  children ! "  they  seemed  to  say. 
Then  the  band  appeared,  and  began  to  play ; 
The  guests  arrived,  and  without  delay 
The  fun  commenced,  and  the  old  oak  hall 
Never  had  known  such  a  Christmas  ball! 

The  feast  was  spread, 

And  the  dance  was  led 

'By  the  knight  and  the  lady,  and  every  one  said, 
With  a  shout  that  rent  the  midnight  air, 
"  Long  live  Lord  Cecil  and  Lady  Clare ! " 


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Singing  Verses  for  Children 


BY 

LYDIA  AVERT  COONLEY 


Illustrated  and  Decorated  by  Alice  Music  by  Frederic  W.  Root  Eleanor 

Kellogg  Tyler  Smltb,  Jessie  L.  G.ynor>  Ffank 

H.  Atkinson,  Jr. 


Quarto.    Cloth,    price  $2.00,  net 


COMMENTS   OF   THE   PRESS 

The  Inter- Ocean,  Chicago,  calls  it  "one  of  the  most  imaginative  and 
exquisite  publications  of  this  or  any  other  season.  It  is  poetrv  music  and 
fine  art  all  in  one."  Of  the  verses  it  adds,  »  We  know  of  nothing  so  good 
trom  any  single  author,  embracing  so  wide  a  range  of  strictly  nursery  topics." 

The  Ata  York  Tribune  also  finds  it  "  in  every  way  attractive.  The  rhvmes 
deal  with  themes  calculated  to  appeal  to  children,  and  the  lines  are  cle'verlv 
and  gracefully  turned."  Mrs.  Tyler's  "  pictures  and  decorations  reproduced 
in  dainty  colors  "  are  "  the  finishing  touch  to  a  useful  and  pleasing  anthology." 

The  Evening  Post,  Chicago,  is  enthusiastic  over  the  "  exquisite  volume  "  of 
delightful  rhymes,"  and  the  beautiful  drawings  which  express  in  another  way 
the  fancies  Mrs.  Ward  has  shaped  in  such  dainty  verse.  The  music  is  the 
complement  of  the  words  and  pictures.  Catching 'the  spirit  of  both,  the  com- 
posers have  suited  the  melody  to  rhyme  and  composition,  making  the  whole 
a  work  of  rare  beauty  ...  an  artistic  achievement  that  is  sure  to  enjoy  endur- 
ing fame." 

The  Philadelphia  Evening  Telegraph  will  review  the  lxx>k  later,  but  an- 
nounces it  with  the  words,  "  It  makes  a  strong  bid  for  holiday  favor." 

The  Times-Herald  gives  its  paragraph  a  head-line,  "  the  gem  of  holiday 
books,"  and  goes  on  : 

"  The  verses  are  by  Mrs.  Coonley-Ward,  and  are  specially  fitted  to  their 
purpose,  being  simple,  wholesome,  and  joyous." 

"  As  for  the  pictures,  if  only  one  could  be  reproduced  here  in  colors,  there 
would  be  a  stampede  for  the  book.  They  are  verses  in  themselves." 


THE   MACMILLAN   COMPANY 

66  Fifth  Avenue,  New  York 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 

Los  Angeles 
This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below. 


RECD 

OCT  17-90 

SEP 


315 


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